one night you awake with a start
no different from any other night
your breath is cold
hanging brightly in the air
your body heavy with sweat
�
you remember what day it is
the words form at the back of your throat
like they need to come out
stronger as you pass loved ones in the hall
�
you know you can’t
�
if that twisted thing, your twisted thing
didn’t rear it’s head every now and then
it’s like it smells guilt
�
maybe your treasure is safe with it after all
it is in fact only yours
you do not forgive yourself
you may not ever forgive yourself
this is only yours
this is only yours
you do not speak it out loud
you cannot bear for it to
fall on someone else’s shoulders.
I had to read this twice, let the meaning seep into my mind. So many distinct lines, but ‘smells like guilt’ and the repetition ‘this is only yours’ drives the intent home. Great piece, River.
thank you so much Dana, and thank you for all of your support for Mus’d it’s been really heartening.